If you hate a person then you are defeated by them - Confucius
What if anger is good for you? Remember, it does surface for a reason. Here are 5 surprising reasons you need to listen to your anger:
Balance in our personal and professional life provides a perspective that can help us make better decisions. It enables us to see the entire map so we can see where we’ve been as well as where we hope to go in the future. The same holds true of emotional balance. The ability to suppress our anger is not a sign we are emotionally healthy. We can pretend that all is good but that does nothing more than keep an emotion from getting out. And guess what? When you fight a feeling, it only gets stronger!
Bereaved people who make the most effort to avoid feeling grief or anger take the longest to recover from their loss. When we suppress or avoid a negative emotion like anger, our ability to experience positive feelings also goes down. Stress soars and our amygdala, a part of the brain associated with emotions, begins to work overtime.
When you put negative feelings into words, our amygdala calms down! People who openly express their feelings are healthier than those who suppress emotions like anger.
How To Make It Work For You: Talk your situation over with a friend. The more you express your anger in words, the calmer you will become. Or, write it down in a journal, if you prefer. The essential point is this: when you put your anger into words, either verbal or written, it is therapeutic. Remember to notice when the venting is always about the same topic. At that point, you really need to delve deeper into the real problem behind your anger.
We live in a society driven by the pleasure principle––there is such an emphasis on positivity that we are unequipped to deal with the other half of our emotional spectrum. If there’s a feeling we don’t like, we try to get rid of it or pretend it doesn’t exist. Our continual pursuit of empty happiness clichés seldom register anything more than a temporary bleep, and then quickly fades away.
Anger makes us uncomfortable and that’s a good thing because it gets our attention. An emotion like anger requires us to sit up and pay attention if we hope to get to the root of it. To fully experience and tap into the wisdom of our emotions, we must learn how to experience the discomfort. Without discomfort, there is no change and no growth.
Those who prefer to feel useful emotions, even when they are unpleasant, are better able to use them in ways that are strategic. People who prefer to feel anger when confronting others tend to be higher in emotional intelligence, whereas people who prefer to feel happiness in such contexts tend to be lower in emotional intelligence. It is a combination: Negative Emotions + Positive Emotions = Emotional Competence.
How To Make It Work For You: Mental toughness allows us to tap into the wisdom of our emotions. Our limbic brain system alerts us to danger in our environment. If we choke off all negative emotions, we also suppress a primal survival tool that has alerted us to threats in our environment for centuries. All emotions can be useful; the key is to regulate them so you can choose the situations which are more beneficial to you.
Are there situations or people that always twist your stomach into a knot?
People who do not take steps to modify their situation only compound their problems. If they learn how to reframe their circumstances, they are better able to control their anger and other negative emotions. When you imagine an event as though you are a bystander, you will notice that you harbour fewer aggressive and negative emotions
How To Make It Work For You: It is not always possible to turn away from disturbing or unfavourable situations. Some events—the loss of your job, the death of a partner, or an unexpected illness—are not controllable. People can cope with unwanted emotions if they imagine the situation as an impartial observer. Find ways to modify your response—so you can control your anger before it spills out and does make matters worse.
Are you angry because you got passed over a promotion? Use that anger to propel you towards a job that will provide more rewards. Anger is an interesting emotion. It is a negative feeling, arousing from cognitive and behaviour responses that are often positive. Anger can motivate a response normally associated with positive behaviour.
If we look at anger like any other emotion, we can find ways to anticipate its arrival and choose how long it hangs around. Consider a positive emotion like joy: if we excavate our own mind and body, we know what will produce joy for us. We create circumstances that will encourage or enhance our experience. We anticipate its very arrival so we’re not surprised when it ultimately shows up.
How To Make It Work For You: When it comes to anger, it’s important to explore in the depths of your mind to uncover what provoked it. The exploration of your anger requires as much honesty and self-awareness as it takes to explore what brings you joy. Both emotions, and your response to them, work hand in hand to form healthy and mature connections.
Conflicts and disagreements allow you to learn more about your partner, spouse, child, friend, or associate. Equality in relationships means you work through tough things together. It allows you to see things from the other person’s point of view. When you’re afraid of showing your anger, you signal that you’re not willing to honestly admit your emotions. As a result, you stay away from people or even experiences that might conjure up all unwanted emotions.
Anger can be an expensive luxury. Your anger is sacred. Nurture it and listen to it fiercely.
You will encounter people who use their anger to hurt others, who wield anger like a weapon, who use the fuel of anger in a way that harms themselves and everyone around them. Know that they are hurting and know it is not your job to fix them or entertain them. Offer them compassion, if you’d like to witness them, do so, and then move on.
Nurture your anger and trust it, but do not expect this relationship to be easy. When anger speaks, it is often inconvenient, uncomfortable, and awkward. Yet another reason so many people deny their truths. Feeling very angry and frustrated all the time, or being around someone who is always angry, is exhausting and stressful.
The smarter you get, the more you realise anger is not worth it- Maxime Lagace
Once we understand our needs, we need to be able to communicate them in a way that is requesting rather than demanding. When we demand from others, it can trigger anger (from a perceived loss of status, unfairness, control, etc). Marshall Rosenberg’s non-violent communication is an excellent way of expressing needs. Asking for help isn’t easy. If done well, it is more effective than being angry that others aren’t meeting our needs. Learn to stop destructive expressions of anger. Learn how to use self-awareness and self-control to stay calm, healthy, and protect your valued relationships from injury and hurt.
Listening: Being listened and feeling heard definitely has magical powers. Listening can help us manage our own anger and help others manage theirs. It’s not easy to listen, and we want others to listen to us. Until we have told our own story, we find it hard to listen to others. Once a person understands what is needed, it is much easier to express that need. In a way that need does not get aggravated to unattended worries and emotions. It is addressed in a more mindful manner.
Transforming judgement into compassion
Anger makes us more compassionate and helps us understand how to properly manage the anger. If we see someone in pain or suffering we are drawn towards helping them, if we see anger we move away. The first step is to really understand and acknowledge the depth of emotion. This is true for yourself as well as others. Simply naming your emotion to yourself will give you more power over it. Naming our emotions tends to engage our logic and calms us down. Seeing the need and the loss behind anger makes us more compassionate (towards yourself or the person who is angry).
Compassion also helps us calm down naturally! If we know what the need is, we might be able to address the source of the anger more effectively. If we know someone interprets our being late as a sign of not caring, we need to first reassure them of our concern for them, not explain the reasons that we were late or didn’t call.
But what if we can’t work out why we or the other person are so angry? Well, if someone was badly hurt, what could you do to make things better without knowing what happened? Usually asking, listening and being compassionate work for most things. We don’t need to know all the background just that people act the way they are acting for a vital reason. Be curious instead of been furious.
Explain your anger instead of expressing it, and you will find solutions instead of arguments.
Article Courtesy: Trishna Patnaik, a BSc (in Life Sciences) and MBA (in Marketing) by qualification but an artist by choice. A self-taught artist based in Mumbai, Trishna has been practising art for over 14 years. She says, "It’s a road less travelled but a journey that I look forward to everyday." Trishna conducts painting workshops and works with clients as a art therapist 1:1 in Mumbai and other metropolitan cities of India.
“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” ~Unknown
Self-love is such popular term these days that it gets tossed around in normal conversation in various forms: "You have to love yourself more." "Why don't you love yourself?" "If you only loved yourself, this wouldn't have happened to you." "You can't love another person until you love yourself first." These are just a few of the self-love directives we give or suggest in order live a more fulfilled life.
Self-love is important to living well. It influences who you pick for a mate, the image you project at work, and how you cope with the problems in your life. It is so important to your welfare in order to know how to bring more of it into your life.
What is self-love? Is it something you can obtain through a vanity makeover or new clothes? Can you get more of it by reading something inspirational? Or, can a new relationship make you love yourself more? The answer to all of these questions is a big NO. Although they feel good and are absolutely gratifying, you can't grow in self-love through such activities.
Self-love is not simply a state of feeling good. It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and even spiritual growth. Self-love is so dynamic; it grows through actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept our weaknesses as well as our strengths in a much better way. We have lesser need to explain our short-comings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning. We are more centred in our life purpose and values, and expect living fulfilment through our own efforts.
If you choose just one or two of these self-love actions to work on, you will definitely begin to accept and love yourself far more. Just imagine how much you'll appreciate you when you exercise the 10 steps to self-love. It is true that you can only love a person as much as you love yourself. If you exercise all of the actions of self-love that I describe in this article, you will allow and encourage others to express themselves in the same way. The more self-love you have for yourself, the better prepared you are for healthy relating. Even more, you will start to attract people and circumstances to you that support your well-being.
As Oscar Wilde once said, “to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”
For many people, the concept of self-love might conjure images of tree-hugging hippies or cheesy self-help books. But, as many psychology studies attest, self-love and -compassion are the key for mental health and well-being, keeping depression and anxiety at bay.
Self-compassion is a way of relating to yourself that does not involve harshly judging or punishing yourself for every mistake you make, or every time someone does better than you. Self-compassion shows that it is associated with:
Less anxiety and depression
More optimism
Better recovery from stress
Better adherence to healthy behaviour changes, such as exercise or diet
To become more self-compassionate yourself and shower yourself with self-love, here are
1. Practice superb self-care.
Get enough sleep to feel revitalized; attend a yoga class or go for a run; fill your fridge with healthy whole foods; drink plenty of water; and schedule in time for fun, adventure or relaxation. Value yourself enough to make self-care practices a regular part of your routine.
2. Recognize that you are experiencing an emotional distress or even mental suffering.
Adopt a mindful attitude in which you deliberately pay attention to your inner experience so that you can notice when you are beginning to shift into a negative state.
3. Accept completely that the feeling is there.
Make a conscious decision to sit with whatever negative feeling is there and try to accept it—If it’s a negative thought, look for the underlying emotion (anxiety, sadness, or anger), or scan your body to see where you feel tension or discomfort. You may feel it in your chest, belly, shoulders, throat, face, jaw, or other areas.
4. Make use of Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).
This is a healing tool where you tap on specific parts of your body while repeating a mantra or affirmation. If you're feeling anxious or self-critical about a particular issue or problem, you can use EFT to release your negative emotional energy and re-establish inner calm and peace.
Use the mantra, "Even though I (insert your problem), I deeply and completely love and accept myself".
5. Imagine what you will feel if you saw a loved one experiencing this feeling.
In your mind’s eye, imagine your loved one being scared or sad or feeling bad about themselves. Then think about what you might feel. Perhaps you would feel the urge to help or comfort them. Try to direct this compassionate mindset toward yourself.
6. Challenge the negative story you have about yourself.
If you can't feel compassion for yourself because you feel undeserving or “bad,” try to think about this as an old story. Notice the old story of why you are bad. Now find a way to challenge this interpretation. Perhaps you experienced past trauma, or you were caught in a stressful situation then. Now make a commitment to try to learn from the experience, rather than beat yourself up with it/ over it.
7. Think about how almost everybody messes up sometimes.
It’s tempting to think that you are uniquely messed up, while everyone else is a paragon of virtue. In fact, even the most successful people make serious mistakes. But making a mistake doesn’t undo all of your accomplishments and successes. We're all works in progress.
8. Work on and decide what it would take to forgive yourself.
If your behaviour hurt you or another person, ask yourself what it would take to forgive yourself. Think about whether you want to apologize and make amends to the person you hurt. If you hurt yourself through addictive behaviour, avoidance, ruining relationships, or otherwise behaving unwisely, make a coping plan for the next time you are in a similar situation so that you can begin to act differently.
9. Be your own life coach.
Rather than punishing yourself with negative thoughts, gently guide yourself in a positive direction. You may ask yourself what led to the destructive behaviour, whether it’s really what you want to be doing, and what the consequences are. Tell yourself that you have other choices, and it’s never too late to change.
10. Keep in mind the common humanity you share with everyone.
There is a common myth in our society that there is such a thing as 'perfect' and we should all strive to be it. The truth is we are all human, flawed and prone to making mistakes as we navigate the world and learn and grow from our experiences.
Realize you're not the only one who feels vulnerable, insecure and self-critical at times. We're all fighting our own demons and trying to do our best. By remembering your common humanity you immediately take the pressure off yourself and no longer feel so isolated and alone.
Self-love is the prerequisite for complete immersion in the abundant flow of light and love in the world around us. Self-love is a journey. It takes dedication, devotion, and practice. Resolve to love yourself each and every day and watch your best self blossom and your greatest life unfold! Self-love is an exponential force.
"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection." -- Buddha
Article Courtesy: Trishna Patnaik, a BSc (in Life Sciences) and MBA (in Marketing) by qualification but an artist by choice. A self-taught artist based in Mumbai, Trishna has been practising art for over 14 years. She says, "It’s a road less travelled but a journey that I look forward to everyday." Trishna conducts painting workshops and works with clients as a art therapist 1:1 in Mumbai and other metropolitan cities of India.
Everyone has heard stories from others or experienced themselves some funny, some horror or some unpleasant moments with their therapist or healer.
If you are new to therapy or looking for a new therapist it is natural to be concerned about choosing the right therapist. There is no easy answer to this question and at times you go through a couple of therapists before coming across the right one for you. And that does not make the previous ones bad, just that your energies resonate with this one.
But, yes it is important to keep certain points in mind, when looking for a therapist or during a session, especially as more and more people become therapists and healers. Why is it important? Because we at healclinic are experiencing an increase in the number of people who are being fooled or not being helped in the right way.
Based on our experiences, penning down some of the red flags (not exhaustive solely based on our experience) are as follows,
Hope this helps. You can make your own list of what works for you, when you go to a therapist. Because remember your wellness is in your hands and the right therapist or a healer can do wonders with their guidance and tools at their disposal when used right.
Please add in comment if you have experienced other red flags, which people need to be mindful of while choosing a therapist / healer.
Conventional vs holistic approach to patient diagnosis
Has it ever occurred to you, how does a medical practitioner analyse you at the time of a consultation. As a patient the basic aim of a visit to the doctor’s clinic, is to seek curative care and receive treatment. But how is the ailment really recognised and how is the treatment determined.
We will try to understand the concept of consultation analysis by two approaches, one is the conventional way with a visit to an allopathy doctor and other one to a holistic healer, who approaches the problem by alternate therapies like Ayurveda, yoga, homeopathy, reiki, acupuncture.
Conventional approach:
Allopathy defines health as the absence of disease. The allopathic approach focuses on the symptoms and signs presented, and treats the possibilities of what might be or turn into a chronic condition. The science believes that all health problems are caused by either bacteria or viruses or biochemical imbalances. The cure is usually prescribed drugs, radiation or corrective surgeries.
Let’s consider the example of a person experiencing headache. A typical visit to a clinic will mean, checking for vitals, some Questions and Answers, and ending up with prescribed pain killer medicines. Upon recurring headache, the person will then be ‘followed up’ with some tests ruling out major illnesses and sent back with stronger pain killers. If the problem seems to persists then the person is directed either to a neuro physician or a hospital for specialized approach.
Holistic approach:
The basic difference between the two is the approach towards the problem. Holistic science works towards prevention of disease, making sure that the body and mind work in harmony. The mental, physical, emotional, spiritual states are very important in the process. Any distress would create an imbalance in the body, resulting in ailments of the body. While the allopathic approach directs towards the problem in one dimension, holistic approach looks at the problem in multi dimensions. Psychological, physical or emotional aspects are all considered in restoring the body to wellness.
Let’s again consider the example of the same person with headache complaint visiting a healer to resolve the problem. A healer would first speak to the person in detail inquiring the various situations, causes, reasons under which the problem occurred. The aim of a healer in this case would be to ease the pain of the person and analysing the deeper reason for the pain which may be emotional instead of a brain related problem.
Conclusion:
General medicine has become part of our daily lives, there seems to be the little pill to solve all our problems. Be it beating cold, or a flu, controlling sugar, or your thyroid or something else. The list is endless. It is a boon for its effectiveness when you are short of time, for instances like blood loss, or broken bone or grievous injuries. Holistic medicine considers that your body is your best guard against illnesses and diseases. It is time consuming when compared to the conventional method, but the results it yields is almost miraculous.
The only person who can take a call about a method to choose is you. Educate yourself well, analyse and then chose the therapy that will help you reach good health.
Looking for a alternative therapy practitioner, contact us here.
Natural home remedies for a cough and cold
Cough cold are a very common illness which comes with every season change.
How to prevent it and how to fight it? That is the big question in everyone’s mind. Allopathy
medicines make us feel better for some time but alternative treatments give a permanent relief.
The common cold may lead to a runny nose, congestion, cough, body pain, fever, stomach infection. Flu
or common cold is an extremely noncritical disease but it makes the patient suffer a lot. An average
human gets affected by this disease three times in a year. It takes 7 to 8 days to cure. No medicines
can resolve it before 7 to 10 days.
Here are some remedies which will help in treating the common cold. These are the ancient
remedies which we do not practise anymore due to time constraint or modernisation, but they still
Steps to eradicate cold:
• Increase intake of warm water throughout the day, this will help in flushing toxins out of your
• Include Vitamin C rich food in your diet.
• Take hot ginger tea for relief from congestion.
• If you are a non-vegetarian, chicken clear soups just works best.
• Turmeric milk heals the body internally.
• Ginger and tulsi juice work great. Ginger also helps to keep the body warm, which is good so that
body can start perspiring and flush the toxins out.
• Honey relieves the throat. Honey is a soothing and healing agent. Raw honey from untainted
bees is the best honey which can boost immunity and treat cold symptoms.
• Boil ginger and turmeric in water and drink it twice a day.
• Inhale hot water steam, it works better than any nasal drop.
• A combination of garlic, lemon and honey also give relief.
• Gargle with salted warm water for relief from a sore throat.
Nothing beats the disease better than complete rest. Take a break from work and spend some time
relaxing and helping your body to recover completely. First, three days of common cold are when
infection can spread the most. So be at home and avoid spreading the disease.
If relief is not achieved and if a cough becomes chronic, visit a medical practitioner and get checked
Five days a week (and in some cases, six), nine hours of sitting in a chair and staring at the computer is as discomforting as it sounds. And it can take a serious toll on your physical as well as mental well-being.
Since most of our waking hours are spent at work, a large majority of us end up leading a sedentary lifestyle that brings down your health to an all-time low. Stress, chronic neck and backaches, weight gain and most importantly, depression are few of the common reasons behind work-related ill-health. Do you feel fresh and energized for going to office the next day?
The worst part here though, is that your body over time doesn’t even seem to mind the occasional pains, sudden mood swings and tiredness. Until it burns out, gives up and leaves us wondering why!
Now we all know that getting up for a morning walk is impossible when we sleep past midnight, and equally impossible to fit in an hour of gym when you reach home at dinner time. So what if we could make just simple tweaks to your usual workday instead to stay fit and agile?
Yes, it is possible and here are a few great tips to maintain your health at work:
People who are under stress take shorter breaths which sometime turns into desperate gasps. Over time, this becomes a habit and makes you feel stressed even when you’re not stressed. This is why one must make conscious efforts to take deep breaths not only while at work, but also while doing the daily chores.
Breathing deeply helps in getting higher quantity of oxygen reach the lungs and blood stream which in turn helps the brain function more efficiently. Meditation is an effective way to stay focused, incorporate deep breathing in your daily life and reduce stress at work.
Even though you may not have the time to get into meditation mode on a daily basis – sneaking in 10 deep breaths while you’re making your morning coffee or getting dressed will help.
Alternative medicine:
If you are extremely stressed, consider taking aromatherapy. It involves the application or inhalation of aromatic essential oils, extracted from plants to give your body a sense of relief.
Reiki and pranic healing are energy healing techniques which can help you deal with stress and its related symptoms very effectively. Alternatively, you can choose practicing emotional freedom technique that combines psychotherapy and acupressure to tap your stress away.
Most of us tend to forget drinking water as often as we should in a day. The reason being, half the time we’re so engrossed in work that it skips our mind completely and when we do find the time, we reach out for a cup of tea or coffee to keep going. And that’s exactly where we go wrong!
Your body ‘needs’ water to function. In fact, you are putting your body at risk by not staying hydrated enough. Drink at least 8-10 glasses of water regularly to control weight gain, prevent headaches, keep the kidneys in order and maintain a happy mood.
Alternative medicine:
If you are averse to water, then you can always replace it with some fruits and vegetables which hydrate the body twice as effectively as a glass of water. They make a refreshing snack option during the hot summer months. Top of the list are Watermelon, Cucumber, Strawberries, Grapes, Orange, Cranberries, Blueberries, Plums, Apples, Pears, Lettuce, Celery, Zucchini, Radish, Tomato, Cabbage and many more. There are expert nutritionists who can help you prepare your diet chart along with recipes depending on your life style and day schedule
3. Take a walk post-lunch
Having your lunch and immediately getting back to work is still unhealthy. This will make you lethargic and decrease your mental activity in the latter half of the day. So the next time you have lunch in office, ensure you take a short stroll before getting back to your seat and going through the daily grind.
These short walks will regulate your blood sugar, burn fat, build muscle and keep your body weight under check.
Alternative medicine:
nutritional therapy can help you plan your diet depending on your daily schedule and ensuring that the food you intake in energizing and invigorating
Please remember that this is your body and you’re responsible for it much longer than your current job’s requirement. While performing at work is becoming increasing important with the rising competition, it is also a fact that an unhealthy body is not going to take you anywhere. Being healthy and happy leads to a productive and efficient employee.
Make convenient and conscious changes that will steer you in the direction of a healthy, balanced and a successful life. Watch out for some more tips in the part 2
In Ways to Improve your health at work – part 1 we saw how increased working hours in front of our laptops and every free minute spent on the phone can create health issues for us. Though these issues start small, with minor niggling pains and aches, they have a tendency to over a period of time snowball into major health issues.
Today, there are expert practitioners who are available online and offline who can help you with various health issues without the use of drugs and chemicals.
Lets look at some more ways how we can help ourselves lead a healthier life,
Most of us don’t know this but it is important to keep the eyes at an arm’s length away from the laptop/computer screen you’re using at work. If you are unable to read the screen properly, consider increasing the font size instead of moving closer to it or hunching your back over the screen.
Another thing you can do while taking a break, is exercising your eyes. Simply palming, massaging, making the figure 8 with your eyes or doing directional eye exercises can go a long way. They will strengthen your eye muscles, improve focus, eye movements and keeping the vision center of your brain stimulated.
Alternative medicine:
Naturopathy and nutritional therapy can help you keep your eyes healthy for a longer time. Herbs such as coleus, cannabis, gingko, green tea and eyebright are known to improve eye health. Yoga is another therapy which can help you relieve stress from eyes through different eye exercises.
When you sit long hours in the same position, your joints and muscles remain immobilised for prolonged periods that might result in them becoming weaker. Most working professionals experience neck and back muscle pains on a regular basis, and that’s indication enough to give your muscles a break!
You might have a lot to achieve during the day, but give your body a break every now and then. Simply stand up and stretch every 30 minutes or walk around your cubicle a few times. You can even set a reminder for the same!
Small changes like taking the stairs instead of the elevator, walking up to a colleagues cubicle instead of mailing or messaging them, can also help. Controlling the level of physical activities through a sedentary day, is entirely in your hands.
Alternative medicine:
Practicing yoga therapy – breath control, meditation and adoption of specific bodily postures, even for 10 to 15 minutes a day can go a long way. For those who have chronic neck and lower back pains, acupressure and acupuncture, could bring lasting relief.
Next time, your colleague offers you a pack of chips because they’re on a break, refuse! Constantly binging on chips, biscuits, samosas, etc through the day to keep boredom at bay can cause harm to the body. It is the reason behind weight gain, high cholesterol levels, fatigue and even mood swings at work!
Stick to fruits and soy-based chips, if you are hungry. Have green tea at regular intervals daily to detoxify your body. Avoid juices in carton boxes and fizzy drinks.
Image credit: guysandgoodhealth.files.wordpress.com
Alternative medicine:
Diet planed under an expert nutritionist, can ensure that you have the right food and snacks at the right time and stay away from binging.
Please remember that this is your body and you’re responsible for it much longer than your current job’s requirement. While performing at work is becoming increasing important with the rising competition, it is also a fact that an unhealthy body is not going to take you anywhere. Being healthy and happy leads to a productive and efficient employee.
Make convenient and conscious changes that will steer you in the direction of a healthy, balanced and a successful life.
Popular television actress Pratyusha Banerjee’s suicide has once again aroused the question ‘why end life this way’? She is the latest to be added to the list of Bollywood Actress Jiah Khan, VJ Nafisa Joseph and the likes. Recently heard of a young medical student committing suicide and I’m sure there are many more who have succumbed, only it hasn’t become national news.
The article doesn’t aim to decipher or decode why Pratyusha committed suicide. But tries to provide a picture as to what causes a person to take such an extreme step. On the outset, the lives of all those mentioned above seemed to be going pretty smoothly, then why such a tragic death? No matter how glamorous or perfect a life seems, everyone has their share of problems. It could be financial issue, relationship, death and the list goes on. When things go wrong or against our expectations, most will hit a low and feel caught in a web of emotions.
However, most would seek the help and support of friends, family, mentors, therapists and the like. Life seems a burden in the midst of a crisis because we are not able to see the bigger picture and remember that ‘this too shall pass’. This is where ‘support system’ becomes so important. Our well-wishers show us what we’re worthy and capable of when we’re focusing on an unsuccessful relationship or project for example.
At this point, as a Psychologist, we help clients reassess life and bring their focus to anything that could uplift them- be it volunteering, a goal or travelling. We all need ‘something to look forward to’- it is essential to help an individual focus on these and help them overcome the short-sighted view of life that normally engulfs during such stressful times.
Sadly, the alarming rate of suicide among youngsters also highlights that their coping mechanism seems inadequate. It is normal to be a little low, moody and depressed when things are not going great but when it goes beyond 2-3 weeks, then the individual ought to seek support. Alcohol and drugs are only a temporary escape from reality. We have to accept the challenge and face it head–on at some point. It seems that especially with high profiles, the need to appear at their best and image management is a priority. I recall a high-profile celebrity stating that he didn’t know how to emotionally be present with his family during a crisis because they are so used to curbing emotions. Too much curtailing and faking of emotions will affect the individual, especially in what seems to be a crisis.
Normally, an individual attempting or committing suicide is usually depressed and/or tends to be impulsive. Studies have shown that adequate support and care many a times prevents suicide. The tendency to magnify an issue is very common in such circumstances. Therefore, the individual feels he/she doesn’t have adequate resources to cope with the issue at hand, and feels death resolves the suffering. I recall reading that it is not death they seek but it’s an avoidance of life.
The least we can do is to reach out to those who seem to be going through a tough phase. This does not mean over powering or taking over them but letting them know that ‘I’m here for you’. Everyone faces some stressor/s- we can choose to take it as a challenge and that’s when it can empower us and thus becomes Eustress or Positive Stress. Else, if we let it engulf us- it becomes Negative Stress or Distress. One thing that i found helpful with my clients is to focus their attention on some goal – no matter how small, so that energy is directed towards it and thus slowly begin the process of healing and self-empowerment. Life is too precious – let’s embrace it with all its ups and downs.
how fathers can participate actively in improving child’s health
Fathers are every child’s superhero. Children believe that their fathers don’t have any limits. But when it comes to caring for they are inclined towards mothers. Today’s generation dads have to be aware of the care and knowledge required to take care of their young ones especially when they suffer from any health problems So fathers time to read on.
As per psychologist Eirine Flouri, “An involved father figure reads to his child, takes outings with his child, is interested in his child’s education, and takes a role equal to the mother’s in managing his child.” Children with these types of dads are more likely to get better grades in school and fared better overall.
The need for fathers to be involved has become very important in the last decade as in many cases both the parents work and need to be equally capable of handling a child’s needs. Tips to get involved in a child’s life –
A study has proven the fact that children, who have continuous involvement of fathers in their lives have lesser cases of behavioural disorders, overall wellbeing and feel less victimised by the society. The psychological study also reveals that fathers who are involved in their children life, health wise or other feel more satisfied with themselves, and are more to participate among the members of society.
This also makes their relationship with their spouses’ cordial as the feelings for each other deepens with empathy and mutual agreement when it comes to their child’s wellbeing. So in whole it’s a win – win situation for all.
Fathers don’t get left behind in the race, time to get involved with your child physical, mental and emotional growth. If you are finding it difficult as to how to get involved take relationship advice from our experts
Work is important but family comes first!
Benefits of Aromatherapy
Imagine how incomplete our lives would be, if you could not smell food, enjoy the smell of flowers, and experience the fresh scents of nature, the sweet smell of a baby…yes!! that’s right they are too good to miss. Our nose provides us with a sense of smell, which is one of the five senses that a body experiences. Smell or aroma plays a significant role in our lives.
The aroma can also be used in a therapeutic way to heal and provide relief from a number of causes, be it beating stress, aiding peace & calm, inducing sleep, relaxation, cold or boosting the immune systems to name a few. Aromatherapy is an interesting approach to alternative healing. It requires little or no intervention from health practitioners and can be practised on your own.
Health benefits of aromatherapy include managing depression, reducing stress, beating anxiety, promoting peace & calm, pain management, migraine/headache reduction, aiding digestion and increase in blood circulation. Aromatherapy has been around for long, do you remember when our mother’s and grandmother’s used to make us inhale a few drops of eucalyptus oil for beating cold with or the use of incense sticks for prayers thereby creating a sense of calm or use of herbs for keeping the house free of insects and flies. That’s use of aromatherapy in our daily lives.
The advancement of science and technology has seen a tremendous facelift in the area of aromatherapy as well, oils and extracts of exotic plants and trees are now easily available in the markets. Aromatherapy has been used in India, parts of Europe, USAbut is now gaining popularity all over the world. The oils available in the market today are researched, patented and tested safe for use. They reach the markets after much deliberations and certificates of approval from the health & wellness government bodies.
Some benefits of aromatherapy in the following conditions:
How can these oils be used?
Aromatherapy is a branch of science which combines the essence of different plants, roots, flowers, herbs in the form of essential oils. These oils can be used to heal and treat a lot of common ailments or simply for relaxation.
Healclinic is a wellness platform which offers energy healing therapies like Reiki, Pranic Healing, Theta, Past Life, Inner Child, Family Constellation, Redikal, Graphotherapy, Akashik Records, Tarot Reading, Numerology, Astrology, Chakra Healing, by expert Healers.
Some of the energy healing therapies which we offer are reiki, pranic healing, past life regression, theta healing, redikal healing, family constellation, akashic records reading, astrological healing, inner child healing, hypnotherapy, tarot reading, numerology, astrology and many more. The basic tenet of all these therapies is that the human body is self healing and a person needs to be treated and not the disease.
They work on the cause of an ailment rather than the symptom and are more holistic in nature. It uses body’s own power to heal. These theraies are execllent ways to become aware of why you are facing a particular challenge and start healing from the root cause
