“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” ~Unknown
Self-love is such popular term these days that it gets tossed around in normal conversation in various forms: "You have to love yourself more." "Why don't you love yourself?" "If you only loved yourself, this wouldn't have happened to you." "You can't love another person until you love yourself first." These are just a few of the self-love directives we give or suggest in order live a more fulfilled life.
Self-love is important to living well. It influences who you pick for a mate, the image you project at work, and how you cope with the problems in your life. It is so important to your welfare in order to know how to bring more of it into your life.
What is self-love? Is it something you can obtain through a vanity makeover or new clothes? Can you get more of it by reading something inspirational? Or, can a new relationship make you love yourself more? The answer to all of these questions is a big NO. Although they feel good and are absolutely gratifying, you can't grow in self-love through such activities.
Self-love is not simply a state of feeling good. It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and even spiritual growth. Self-love is so dynamic; it grows through actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept our weaknesses as well as our strengths in a much better way. We have lesser need to explain our short-comings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning. We are more centred in our life purpose and values, and expect living fulfilment through our own efforts.
If you choose just one or two of these self-love actions to work on, you will definitely begin to accept and love yourself far more. Just imagine how much you'll appreciate you when you exercise the 10 steps to self-love. It is true that you can only love a person as much as you love yourself. If you exercise all of the actions of self-love that I describe in this article, you will allow and encourage others to express themselves in the same way. The more self-love you have for yourself, the better prepared you are for healthy relating. Even more, you will start to attract people and circumstances to you that support your well-being.
As Oscar Wilde once said, “to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”
For many people, the concept of self-love might conjure images of tree-hugging hippies or cheesy self-help books. But, as many psychology studies attest, self-love and -compassion are the key for mental health and well-being, keeping depression and anxiety at bay.
Self-compassion is a way of relating to yourself that does not involve harshly judging or punishing yourself for every mistake you make, or every time someone does better than you. Self-compassion shows that it is associated with:
Less anxiety and depression
Better recovery from stress
Better adherence to healthy behaviour changes, such as exercise or diet
To become more self-compassionate yourself and shower yourself with self-love, here are
1. Practice superb self-care.
Get enough sleep to feel revitalized; attend a yoga class or go for a run; fill your fridge with healthy whole foods; drink plenty of water; and schedule in time for fun, adventure or relaxation. Value yourself enough to make self-care practices a regular part of your routine.
2. Recognize that you are experiencing an emotional distress or even mental suffering.
Adopt a mindful attitude in which you deliberately pay attention to your inner experience so that you can notice when you are beginning to shift into a negative state.
3. Accept completely that the feeling is there.
Make a conscious decision to sit with whatever negative feeling is there and try to accept it—If it’s a negative thought, look for the underlying emotion (anxiety, sadness, or anger), or scan your body to see where you feel tension or discomfort. You may feel it in your chest, belly, shoulders, throat, face, jaw, or other areas.
4. Make use of Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).
This is a healing tool where you tap on specific parts of your body while repeating a mantra or affirmation. If you're feeling anxious or self-critical about a particular issue or problem, you can use EFT to release your negative emotional energy and re-establish inner calm and peace.
Use the mantra, "Even though I (insert your problem), I deeply and completely love and accept myself".
5. Imagine what you will feel if you saw a loved one experiencing this feeling.
In your mind’s eye, imagine your loved one being scared or sad or feeling bad about themselves. Then think about what you might feel. Perhaps you would feel the urge to help or comfort them. Try to direct this compassionate mindset toward yourself.
6. Challenge the negative story you have about yourself.
If you can't feel compassion for yourself because you feel undeserving or “bad,” try to think about this as an old story. Notice the old story of why you are bad. Now find a way to challenge this interpretation. Perhaps you experienced past trauma, or you were caught in a stressful situation then. Now make a commitment to try to learn from the experience, rather than beat yourself up with it/ over it.
7. Think about how almost everybody messes up sometimes.
It’s tempting to think that you are uniquely messed up, while everyone else is a paragon of virtue. In fact, even the most successful people make serious mistakes. But making a mistake doesn’t undo all of your accomplishments and successes. We're all works in progress.
8. Work on and decide what it would take to forgive yourself.
If your behaviour hurt you or another person, ask yourself what it would take to forgive yourself. Think about whether you want to apologize and make amends to the person you hurt. If you hurt yourself through addictive behaviour, avoidance, ruining relationships, or otherwise behaving unwisely, make a coping plan for the next time you are in a similar situation so that you can begin to act differently.
9. Be your own life coach.
Rather than punishing yourself with negative thoughts, gently guide yourself in a positive direction. You may ask yourself what led to the destructive behaviour, whether it’s really what you want to be doing, and what the consequences are. Tell yourself that you have other choices, and it’s never too late to change.
10. Keep in mind the common humanity you share with everyone.
There is a common myth in our society that there is such a thing as 'perfect' and we should all strive to be it. The truth is we are all human, flawed and prone to making mistakes as we navigate the world and learn and grow from our experiences.
Realize you're not the only one who feels vulnerable, insecure and self-critical at times. We're all fighting our own demons and trying to do our best. By remembering your common humanity you immediately take the pressure off yourself and no longer feel so isolated and alone.
Self-love is the prerequisite for complete immersion in the abundant flow of light and love in the world around us. Self-love is a journey. It takes dedication, devotion, and practice. Resolve to love yourself each and every day and watch your best self blossom and your greatest life unfold! Self-love is an exponential force.
"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection." -- Buddha
Article Courtesy: Trishna Patnaik, a BSc (in Life Sciences) and MBA (in Marketing) by qualification but an artist by choice. A self-taught artist based in Mumbai, Trishna has been practising art for over 14 years. She says, "It’s a road less travelled but a journey that I look forward to everyday." Trishna conducts painting workshops and works with clients as a art therapist 1:1 in Mumbai and other metropolitan cities of India.
Most of our healers believe that it was self love that jump-started their healing journey many years ago.
Mainly because we are always out of touch with our love for ourselves. One of the most powerful ways was through working with crystals.
What is Crystal healing?
Crystal healing is an holistic and vibrational energy-based system of healing. It is therapeutic and deeply relaxing. Crystals have the ability to hold and emit energy vibrations. Crystals absorb, focus, direct and diffuse our energy fields to enable a out of balance body to find it’s natural energetic rhythm once again.They are mother nature’s “natural healers.”
Enhancing self love with the healing powers of crystals
So because self love and inner growth go hand in hand and you can’t have one without the other, I have chosen some stones and crystals that can help you relate to an all encompassing love of oneself. the earth is abundant with so many various types, carrying with them tons of different healing energies. In crystal healing whichever crystal(s) is right for you in the moment will draw itself to you.
Also Watch: Why loving yourself is important?
Crystals for Self Love and Inner Growth
Agate – is believed in crystal healing to encourage acceptance of love and of self.
Amethyst – is said to bring emotional stability and inner strength, encourage self love, positive self image and bring clarity so that you become more in tune with your feelings and get to know yourself on a deeper level. Amethyst is believed to promote self expression, openness to others, and empowerment.
Aquamarine – is believed to encourage self love and inner peace by helping you to realize your inner truth and release self defeating beliefs.
Rhodochrosite – is believed to emit one of the most tender and loving energies of any stone. That love is directed first toward the self for the purpose of emotional healing,
Rose Quartz -i s the best crystal for self love. A list of self love crystals would be incomplete without talking about rose quartz. This is the Big Mama of love crystals. Self love, tenderness, compassion and inner peace and forgiveness.
Rose quartz is believed to be a crystal of unconditional love, it teaches the true essence of love, purifies and opens the heart at all levels, and brings deep inner healing and self love. Helps you to nurture yourself and learn to trust, value, and forgive yourself. Only after learning to love yourself is it possible to truly love others.
Rose quartz guides you to look within yourself and understand the ways you need to love yourself and the many, many ways you can be kind to yourself.
How to use crystals for self love
Infuse them with your intention and program your crystal. That simply entails you holding the stone, and asking it to assist you in healing your Heart, opening your Heart, clearing your Heart, or whatever special intention you may have.
Wear your crystals around your neck, allowing them to fall close to your heart. Let your crystal be a personal talisman to help remind you that you’re worthy.
Place your crystal on your office desk at work, or throughout the rooms in your home to serve as a visual reminder that you are worthy and confident.
Also watch: Am I enough for myself
Carry your crystals with you in your purse or pocket to connect with their energy throughout the day. Each time you touch your crystal, visualize it bringing you luck and raising your spirits and self-worth
Right before you do your nightly meditations and affirmations, place a crystal of your choice under your pillow Focus your attention on the energy you wish to experience in your sleep. Set your intentions on loving yourself, and clearing any negative energy in your body overnight. You will most definitely wake up feeling blissful.
Love yourself first. Begin and end each day with a self-love ritual to surround yourself with loving energy. Each morning, hold a rose quartz crystal in your dominant hand. Breathe in and out deeply. Affirm out loud, “I choose love.” Say this affirmation as many times as you need to, until your heart and your head feel that these words are true.
You may choose any of these affirmations :
“I accept self love as a way of life”
“Self love comes to me with ease”
” I love and accept myself unconditionally”
Simplest and best affirmation :
‘I love you” Look into the mirror and say it several times.
Also Read: Healing through Crystals
If you are interested in crystal healing or buying crystals, contact us or give us a call at +91 80500023237
We also offer online Reiki healing for different challenges, consult our healers. Or if you are looking for learning Reiki, Contact us
Self love is one of the best gifts that we can give to ourselves. At healclinic we get many inquiries from people suffering from health issues, emotional problems or relationship messiness. You will be surprised to know that when we deconstruct the issue, most of the times it comes down to the person not loving self, not putting themselves on priority and hence suffering from low self esteem.
We asked readers to tell us what they think about self love, and this is what a 15 year old Sakshi had to say,
‘Loving Yourself’ has been used commonly enough that I feel like it has lost its original meaning. To recount what it means, it is simply the regard that one has for their own well-being and happiness.
It is a phrase that really supports and lifts me up. It helps bring passion and motivation into my daily mundane actions. When you start loving yourself, you start taking life into your stride. You can look past the petty details that used to bring you down and move on faster.
What does it mean to love oneself?
The expression of self-love differs from person to person. Everyone can find their own way of taking care of themselves. Someone may count setting aside some “me-time”, like relaxing with a delightful book, or maybe just watching a movie that’s been pending for too long as a way of showing love to themselves. I know others who spend time with their close ones, be it family or friends. Personally, heading outdoors for a cool evening walk makes me feel plenty loved by myself. So, love yourself no matter what form it takes.
How does loving yourself help?
Loving yourself is a way of giving back to the universe, of being grateful and showing your gratitude. The gratitude is shown because we should all be thankful that we are who we are and not anybody else. It gives you a sense of grounding that no one else can give you. It is a feeling that helps you rely on yourself. So that you can balance your life and everything on your plate exactly the way you wanted. It’s a starting point to believe in yourself and eventually to walk along with the people who love you too.
Also Read: Client stories on relationship healing
How do you love yourself?
I really want to tell myself, as well as others around me, that self-love is a necessity. The importance of this factor plays a role in every other dimension of your life. With today’s hectic schedules and never-ending tasks, time must be kept aside specifically for yourself.
Fun can be the answer to loving yourself just as much as any other activity. Enjoyment is like a gateway to self-love. Loosening up to what your heart wants without too much reasoning seems irrational, but every once in a while, it helps you open up to new opportunities and possibilities.
If you find it difficult to be comfortable within yourself, not able to accept who you are, or not being able to balance your needs and priorities, then all you need is a little self-love.
If this resonates with you, and you feel you need support in self love or increasing your self esteem, connect with us at +918050003237