Is Your Therapist Helping or Hurting? Top Red Flags to Watch Out For

Everyone has heard stories from others or experienced themselves some funny, some horror or some unpleasant moments with their therapist or healer.

If you are new to therapy or looking for a new therapist it is natural to be concerned about choosing the right therapist. There is no easy answer to this question and at times you go through a couple of therapists before coming across the right one for you. And that does not make the previous ones bad, just that your energies resonate with this one.

But, yes it is important to keep certain points in mind, when looking for a therapist or during a session, especially as more and more people become therapists and healers. Why is it important? Because we at healclinic are experiencing an increase in the number of people who are being fooled or not being helped in the right way.

Therapy can be a powerful journey, but only when your therapist truly supports your growth. If things feel off, it could be time to seek someone else. Here are 9 red flags that show it might be time to change your therapist, and how to know what a healthy therapeutic relationship looks like

1. You Feel Stuck — No Progress or Breakthroughs

Therapy should move you forward. If you have been in sessions for months but don’t notice any improvement whether emotionally, mentally, or in how you handle life’s challenges that’s a sign the therapy may not be working for you.
A good therapist should help you grow, not leave you feeling like you are going in circles.

2. Sessions Feel Random — No Clear Goals or Structure

If every session feels scattered or you are constantly revisiting the same issues without direction, therapy can start to feel pointless. A professional therapist should have a roadmap with clear goals, helping you track progress and growth.
Without structure, therapy becomes little more than venting and that rarely leads to real change.

3. You Leave Feeling Worse — More Confused, Anxious or Judged

Therapy isn’t always easy but you should at least leave with something: new insight, clarity or tools. If you consistently walk away feeling useless, judged or emotionally drained, that’s a strong warning sign.
Your mental well-being deserves better than repeated emotional exhaustion.

4. Your Therapist Is Distracted, Late or Unprofessional

Imagine paying for someone’s time only for them to stare at their phone, arrive late, cancel frequently or forget important details about you. That’s not the care or respect you deserve.
Consistent professionalism matters: therapy should feel safe, respectful and reliable.

5. They Push Their Values, Judgement or Agenda on You

Therapy should be about your life, your values your healing not the therapist’s. If you feel judged, pressured or coerced into adopting their beliefs instead of working on your path, that’s a red flag.
You deserve a neutral, supportive space not a lecture.

6. Boundaries Are Blurred — Over-familiarity, Oversharing or Inappropriate Behavior

A professional therapist maintains clear boundaries. If the session starts feeling more like a casual chat — or worse, a friendship — it’s time to question.
Your safety, trust, and emotional well-being come first.

7. Their Approach Is One-Size-Fits-All — No Customisation to Your Needs

Your life, problems and healing are unique. If your therapist uses the same methods with everyone without adapting to your background, culture or personality therapy becomes generic, impersonal and often ineffective.
Good therapy should feel personalized to you.

8. They Make Big Promises — “You’ll Feel Better in 2 Sessions!” or “Guaranteed Results”

Therapy is a journey, not a magic wand. Anyone promising quick, sweeping results is discounting how complex healing truly is.
Real change takes time, honesty and patience not flashy guarantees.

9. You Don’t Feel Heard, Understood or Safe Sharing

The core of therapy is trust. If you feel like your therapist doesn’t listen, invalidates your feelings, judges you or makes you afraid to be honest that’s not a safe space. That means it’s time to change.

✅ What Healthy Therapy Should Feel Like

• A space where you feel safe, understood and respected.
• Clear goals, measurable progress and consistent sessions.
• Empathy not judgement; Guidance not control.
• Flexibility and customization based on your unique story, background and healing needs.

Read: What Real Healing looks like

Overcoming the Guilt: It’s Okay to Switch Therapists

Many of us worry about hurting the therapist’s feelings, or feeling guilty because we “should stick it out.” But the truth is: therapy is a service — a service meant for your mental well-being. If it isn’t working out for you, you owe yourself the right to change.
Switching doesn’t mean failure; it means you’re prioritizing your healing.

Hope this helps. You can make your own list of what works for you, when you go to a therapist. Because remember your wellness is in your hands and the right therapist or a healer can do wonders with their guidance and tools at their disposal when used right.

Please add in comment if you have experienced other red flags, which people need to be mindful of while choosing a therapist / healer.